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An Akwa Ibom based lady, Emem Moses, 37, who is the leader of an all-female bouncer group in the state, tells to GODFREY GEORGE how she came about the novel idea and the journey so far
Please, tell us about yourself.
My name is Emem Thomas. I am 37 years old. I am from Ikono Local Government, Akwa Ibom State but I grew up in Calabar, Cross River State. I am from an average family; I had a wonderful upbringing, I would want to believe.
You own and run a private all-female bouncer group. Was this your childhood dream?
My childhood dream was to be a doctor. I wanted to study Medicine and Surgery, but you know how Nigeria is. I actually wrote the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination, hoping to study Medicine, but I always got knocked down by aptitude tests. I didn’t want to continue writing the UTME, so I had to switch to Biochemistry, which is also medical-related. My plan was that after my studies, I would go back to study Medicine and Surgery, but I just fell in love with Biochemistry and decided to stick with it. I never knew I would end up as a bouncer who would go on to own an all-female security outfit, although I remember I always had a passion for security jobs, because I love the uniform. In fact, after my university studies, I kept applying for different uniform jobs but I was always unlucky.
When did you graduate?
I graduated in 2014 from the Cross River State University of Technology, Calabar Campus. I went for the national youth service the same year, so I finished service in 2015.
For how long did you search for a job in your field before settling for security service?
When I came back from NYSC, I did so many jobs and filled many online job applications. I tried Road Safety, Immigration, Customs, Fire Service, Prisons. I went to their screening but didn’t get any offer. That was between 2015 and 2017.
How did you come about the idea of being a bouncer?
It was in 2017, when I had a job offer in a private security outfit via a friend on Facebook because I was always disturbing them for a job. So, he invited me to come down to Uyo from Calabar for the job. I met the owner of the company and I was employed. I was working as the firm’s Administrative Officer. It was in that company that I saw the chances of being a female bouncer. What they did resonated with my passion. In trying to see how I could help the company grow, I began to read about security service, surveillance, CCTV camera instalments and all whatnot. At some point, I was redeployed from the administrative role to become a business developer with the company. At that point, my salary was reduced for some weird reason. As a business developer, I was looking for ways to bring business to the company, and the idea of an all-female bouncer unit dropped in my mind and I shared it with the company. They bought the idea because they also had an all-male bouncer group for private security and all that. This boosted growth in their brand because many clients bought into the idea of leaving the regular to patronise them. That was how it started.
Along the line, something went wrong. Some people were not happy with the development. They thought I didn’t have the right to come as a new staff and ‘outshine’ the older staff members. So, a lot of things went wrong. I was trying to fight for the rights of these women who I had brought out from their homes to join this job. These female bouncers were not full staff members; they were on contract. So, I told the company they should have a share of the money paid by the clients to the tune of 70 per cent. The company said they would pay them 30 per cent, and I had issues with that because I was on the side of the women; I was the one who brought them in, so, if anything happened to them, I would be held accountable. The company saw my stance as insubordination, and I had to leave. I have always being a field person, so I understand the pains of one who is working on the field. It can never be like office work. So, I left because I felt it was unfair. They even told me outright that they didn’t want the all-female group anymore. Since I was the initiator of the idea, I posted it on my social media pages. Women who wanted to liked the idea through my account. What did they expect me to do with these women whom I had convinced to come work with them? I was devastated. I fell sick for days because I was confused.
How did you start your own all-female bouncer group, Diamond Squad?
I spoke to a friend about it and she encouraged me to start up my own firm. We registered the company with the Corporate Affairs Commission. I pulled the women together, got my first event and we went together under that new name.
What was the experience like on that first event?
I was very nervous because I didn’t want anything to go wrong. I’d never worked with the male team of my former company, though I was the one in charge of gadgets and all that. So, it was kind of new to me. I kept thinking it was the wrong move. At that time, the women, too, had no experience on the job. But before our former company rejected us, we had covered like two events but then it was under the supervision of that company. All through the event, I was not myself. I made a series of mistakes and then, I had a male bouncer friend, who also came for that event. He encouraged me and covered up for the lapses. But at the end of the event, it was amazing. Our first client even added some money on top of what we had bargained for because he got excellent service. He didn’t stop there; he referred me to another friend of his who had his dad’s funeral.
What qualities do you look for before admitting women into your team?
Initially, the criteria was to be a plus-size or chubby lady. But as we grew as a company, I began to run background checks on anyone I wanted to accept into the outfit, so I wouldn’t endanger the lives of other staff or the clients. I check if they are into drugs or have been previously convicted of any crime and things like that. Before now, I would tell them to pay a fee of N5,000 to register, but it is funny that most of my ladies haven’t paid that money to date (laughs). I didn’t really stress on that because my aim was not to get money from them or make money off them; I wanted to see them make something out of their lives as plus-size women.
Is admission into the group limited to only single women?
Oh no! Every woman who is plus-sized is welcome. In my team, I have married women, single mothers, single women, too. For married ones, I tell them to get approval from their husbands first before admitting them. If your husband is cool with it, you can join us. If he is not cool, please, go back to your husband’s house. We don’t have any issue with that. Some of the married women with us are escorted or driven to our meeting point by their husbands. In fact, I have a lady whose husband bought all her personal kits for her.
What has the experience been so far?
I started this group in 2018 and the journey has not been easy at all, to be honest. All my hope is in this company. It is what pays my bills. I have to do all I can, go all out to make sure the brand grows, so that more money can be generated.
What is the worst experience you have had on the field?
I have never had any experience in the field that I really regret. Whatever challenges I may have, my passion covers them. Then, the appreciation I get from my clients does not make me feel it (laughs).
But has there been any time you were covering an event and there was an attack or security breach?
Not really in a violent way. It is just in a way where some people who attend events refuse to stay in their spaces. They prefer to wine and dine with the VIPs in their section. They will tell you, “See these women o. Oh! So na women dem bring to bounce us? We go see na. I must enter there.” It’s not easy to calm this kind of situation because it can result in chaos. So, I am very diplomatic about it. I had to engage myself in a lot of training online and offline to be able to handle such situations. I am a life member of the Nigeria Red Cross Society. I have also worked as a field marshal for Calabar Carnival. Most times, the crowd and the pressure may appear overwhelming, but my ladies are always able to withstand it all.
Have there been cases of sexual harassments on any of the ladies who work with you?
No, there have not been. This is coming from how strict we are. There is a saying, “The way you make your bed is how you will lie on it.” This is what always guides me. When I was in the university and had to go meet a male lecturer, I didn’t smile with them. I just kept a straight face and got whatever I wanted to get done. Most of them said I was not friendly but I didn’t care. I don’t give room for them to approach me for anything negative or make sexual advances because my face alone would tell them that I was not interested. I apply that to the training I give the ladies. They have not complained before. The only thing they tell me is about some men arguing with them, that they disrespected them and things like that. I always wade in. Most times, I tell them to go back and speak to the man themselves and make him understand.
What were some negative things you heard from family and friends when you told them you were going to be a bouncer and own an all-female bouncer group?
People didn’t understand us. Some people used to tell me to go back home and look for a husband to be with. Some said we may be lesbians. They said discouraging things to scare me from doing it, but my mind is fixed on it. I knew it came from a place of fear. You know, when one sees women flourishing in a male-dominated space, they feel threatened. They tried to pull me down but I didn’t let that happen.
Has this job affected your relationship with men?
When it comes to men, they don’t like challenges. They see women who try to do something they would ordinarily do as challenging them. Most people think I am a snub and that I am violent. They feel if they come close to me or talk to me about relationship, I would be violent or something. I remember when I called someone ‘darling’ and the person was surprised. He said, ‘I never knew you were this friendly’. I was so surprised. The way I comport myself is very strict because I don’t want anyone to disrespect me. When I am off duty, I come back to my normal life.
Would the situation have been different if you were not in this line of work?
I would not say so. When one’s desire is to grow one’s brand, one has to make some sacrifices. As I am now, I am not even thinking in that direction anyway. I won’t compromise my service. Even if I see people I know at events I cover, I act as though I don’t know them, so I don’t compromise my standards. After the events, I will then explain to them why I acted that way. I don’t notice if this job is affecting me or not. Whether or not men come around me is not a problem to me at this time. I don’t see it as a problem.
How supportive have your family been so far?
I didn’t go to my family to say I wanted to be a bouncer. They just found out somehow. My family has been supportive. They are proud of what I am doing, and they always support me. My dad even used to market for me. I lost my mom in 2020 and my team had to cover my mom’s burial and every other person around me had to understand. I would want the government and well-meaning individuals to invest in me and partner my dream. It will go a long way.
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